I Needed You
by pussyslayer420
Summary: Mello and his mafia associates need a new hacker. Mello's reunion with Matt isn't a happy one. WARNINGS INSIDE.


**A/N:** I wrote this while I was in a psychiatric hospital. Maybe the craziness of it all got rid of my writer's block. Who knows?

 **WARNINGS:** Swearing, Drug use, Character death, and a short smut scene that isn't very sexy. Both characters may be a little bit OOC.

 **DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Death Note.

It had taken quite a while but he finally found him. Mello had been tracking Matt down for about two years. He and his mafia associates had been looking for a decent hacker, but there were far and few between. That is why Mello had been tracking the red head. Matt had left Wammy's House a year after Mello had gone, bouncing from place to place in Europe and eventually ending up in the United States.

Matt had landed himself in a shitty apartment in L.A., which was coincidentally the city where Mello's mafia base was located. It was pure luck that both boys were in the same place at the same time. It was relatively easy to find Matt, as he had no reason to conceal his movements.

So here Mello was, standing at Matt's front door trying to gain the courage to ring the doorbell. After all, he hadn't seen Matt in four years. He took a deep breath and rung the doorbell. He pressed the button again. Nothing. One last time...

"Alright, alright! I'm coming!" came a familiar voice. The door creaked open, revealing the boy he had been searching for.

Pale skin, messy red hair, sickly skinny. This was not the Matt that Mello remembered. This was someone almost unrecognizable.

"Who are you?" the red head asked. Really? Matt really didn't recognize him? Something was definitely wrong.

"Matt...it's me...Mello...you don't recognize me?" Matt blinked a few times.

"Oh. Mello." Matt opened the door and gestured for him to come in. "You can come in if you want to." He turned his back, not paying much attention to the blonde. The apartment was small and not very well furnished. Mello took in his surroundings and was horrified when he saw what was on the coffee table. A small baggie of heroin and several unused intravenous needles. He looked at the table, then back at Matt, who seemed unfazed by Mello's sad expression.

"What's with the long face, blondie?" Mello was taken aback by that question. He did not like this new Matt.

"It's just...well..." he stuttered.

"Spit it out." Mello was at a loss for words. He looked down at his feet.

"The drugs, right?" Matt asked nonchalantly. Mello nodded, still looking down. A smirk graced Matt's lips. "Heh. Shit happens." Mello looked up.

"Shit happens? Seriously Matt?"

"Do I sound like I'm joking?" Matt replied. Mello's eyes went wide and he clenched his fists.

"You idiot! That shit will kill you!" Matt turned his head to look at the blonde and shrugged.

"Maybe it will, maybe it won't." he said, plopping himself down on the couch and preparing his fix. Mello was frozen. It was like everything was going in slow motion.

 _Powder. Water. Spoon. Lighter. Needle. Tourniquet. Paradise_.

Matt slowly exhaled and leaned back into the couch. Mello was in complete shock. Feeling the tears threatening to flow, he ran to Matt and grabbed his shoulders.

"Didn't you hear a word I just said!? This stuff _will_ kill you! How do you think I would feel if I found you dead!?"

"HA! There's the selfish bastard I know and hate!" Matt stood up, a little wobbly at first before leaning against a wall.

"Selfish bastard...hate...What the hell are you talking about?" said the blonde.

 _"How do you think I would feel if I found you dead!?"_ Matt mocked. "Oh, please. Now why the hell are you here?" Matt stumbled back to the couch.

"Well Matt, um...you see..." it had never been this hard to speak to the red head before. "I need your help with something."

"I totally fucking called it! You're only here because you need something!" Mello just stood there, looking at his feet again. "If it's money, then you're shit outta luck. Gotta pay the bills somehow. Eat what I can find. Ya' know, the basics." Mello's eyes trailed the empty spoon and Matt knew right away what Mello was gonna say.

"Look, I get my money from freelance hacking jobs. The other stuff, well..." he smirked. As if on cue, the doorbell rang and Matt was more than happy to open the for this strange man. Matt looked over his shoulder at the blonde and smiled.

"I think you get it. Now get out of here. I've got some business to attend to." Mello just stood there watching as Matt disappeared into his bedroom. The man following Matt was close to six feet tall, thin but fit, with a glare that said 'Don't fuck with me'. Mello did the same. If looks could kill, the man would certainly be laying at Mello's feet, covered in blood with a gunshot to the head. The door closed.

Mello didn't know what to do. Stay and listen to the one person he ever really cared about get his brains fucked out by some stranger for a tiny fix, or leave and constantly worry for the red head's well being until it killed him. For some god forsaken reason he chose the first option. He needed to make sure Matt would be alright. His heart was breaking as he heard the sounds Matt was making.

"Fuck yeah, you take it, you goddamn whore!" Matt moaned loudly as he was being ruthlessly pounded into. The man pulled Matt up onto his lap and started thrusting faster. It wasn't like the sex wasn't good, but the red head always felt disgusted with himself afterward. He threw his head back as the man hit his prostate dead-on.

"You like that, you slut!?"

"Mnn" Matt moaned. He hated that it felt so good. He honestly wanted to cry right then and there. He hated being called such vile words. But that's what he was.

A whore. A slut. A dope fiend.

Matt cried out once more as he came, then that awful man quickly pulled out.

"On your knees!" This was the part that Matt hated most. He had to endure it if it meant he'd get his drugs. The dealer jerked himself a few times and came all over Matt's face.

"Oh, fuck! Damn, you slut!" he yelled as he rode out his orgasm. There Matt was, on his knees with the disgusting liquid covering his face and dripping onto his chest.

"You look so fucking hot like that." he smirked. "Here's your prize." The man threw a small baggie of heroin to the red head. Probably just enough to get him through the rest of the night. Matt's dealer walked out of the room and smirked, mouthing the words _'He's mine'_ before he left.

Matt had come out of his room about twenty minutes later, cleaned up and wearing his trademark stripes and his goggles hanging around his neck. He looked at Mello, who looked as if he were going to break down into a sobbing mess at any moment. He gazed into Matt's green eyes, once bright and beautiful and full of life, now dull and lifeless.

"I thought I told you to go away..." Matt's previous sarcastic tone was replaced with that of the deepest depths of sadness that Mello could not comprehend.

"Matt, you need help." is all he could say at the moment. Matt flooded with anger as the tears began to fall.

"Don't you think I know that!? Do you fucking think I want to be this way!? Every time I look into the mirror I'm repulsed by what I see! I needed you!"

"Matty, I..." Mello started, but was interrupted.

"Don't pull that 'Matty' bullshit! You only came here because you needed something from me! You left and _promised_ that you would come back for me! I needed you! A call, even a letter...just to know you cared!"

"Matt, listen."

"No, you listen! I'll let you in on a little secret, Mello. I fell fucking head over heels for you back at Wammy's! I _loved_ you!" The tears just kept flowing.

"Matt, I never knew..." the blonde replied as he desperately tried to hold back his own tears.

"Of course you didn't! You were always so concerned with beating Near! With being the best! Everything was all about you! When you left it fucking killed me!" Mello went to hug his friend, but he was quickly pushed away.

"I tried so hard. I tried so fucking hard to find you! When I couldn't find you, I found this!" Matt pointed to the used needle on the table. "Something to numb the pain you put me through. Something that would always be there for me, no matter what!"

"Matt, PLEASE!" Mello could not hold back his tears any longer.

"GET OUT!" Matt yelled, violently pushing Mello out of the apartment then slamming the door. He could hear banging on the door and cries of 'Matty! Matty!'. Matt ignored Mello and sat down to prepare his next fix. He wrapped a long cord around his upper arm and held the rest of it tight with his teeth. He filled the entire needle, something he had never done before. He would usually save at least half for later on. His body went numb and his eyes closed as he injected liquid heaven. Tears were still streaming down his face.

"Bye, Mells..." his heart gave out shortly as he entered eternal bliss.


End file.
